How to Let go of Resentment
Resentment is the bitter indignation of having been treated unfairly, madness, a mixture of disappointment anger and fear.
Let's consider a few facts about resentment.
Resentment is a choice.
Some people can doubt it. They would say, my spouse or my friend made me resentful. The problem is, such thinking puts the emphasis on something that cannot be controlled, the actions of another person. Just like the bible says Let each person examine his own actions. We cannot control what someone else says or do to us,but we can control how we react to it.
When offended is resentment the only option.?
Resentment can destroy your relationship.
It undermines the qualities upon which a relationship should be built,this includes love, trust, and loyalty.The bible says "put away from yourself every kind of malicious bitterness.... this is important especially among couples.
Don't hurt yourself.
Harbouring resentment is like slapping yourself and expect others to to feel the pain. The family member, friend or associate who is the focus of your resentment may be feeling just fine.Resentment hurts you far more than the person you resent.
Take responsibility for your resentment.
It is easy to blame others, but resentment is a choice. So is forgiveness. We should not let the sun set while we are still angry.A spirit of forgiveness gives us an opportunity to approach our relationship problems with a better mind set.
Decide what is important....
There is time for everything. We do not need to react to every offence or impolite words people say or do to us. To prevent this we may need live this planet cause people will always offend and say negative things about us.
Sometimes we just need to be silent and be quiet. When ever we need to discuss an issue we need to wait until the irritation is over and your nerves have calm down to prevent a confrontational situation.
Examine yourself.
Are you easily angered, you take every word from people too serious, no sense of humour ,too rigid,disposed to rage... Does this describe you.... ask yourself... does bitterness dwell in you. How easily are you offended. Do you make issues out of minor matters...Then you have a problem..
This can separate close friends and relationships. Ask yourself are you willing to be patient with you friends, associates and relationships because the Bible teaches us to be patient with difficult people.
Meaning of "forgive "
Forgive simply means to let go of something. It does not mean to minimize the offence or to act as if it never happened ,you simply let go realizing that resentment can do more to our health and relationships than the offense itself .
There have been situations when I resented people for false accusations,betrayal and negative comments about my personality,different thoughts came to my head on how to get back at them, but while I waited for such opportunity, I got stressed up, tense and angry which reflected on my health and appearance to the point that close associates started asking what was wrong with me. Finally I had to share my experience with my colleagues,prayed about it and free myself. That was a practical experience .
Resentment is like the imprisonment of mind. A resentful person thinks about only one thing. Getting back at those who have wrong him or her.
The human emotions of resentment is one of the most futile and destructive emotions which controls more of our inner needs than outer circumstances,unfortunatly more people spend more time dwelling on wrongs supposedly done to them than the wrongs they have done to others.
Forgiving one another in love will destroy thoughts of resentment towards your offenders.
