Living In A Loveless Relationship 2
Living in an unhappy marriage is a very personal decision And as long as the marriage isn't abusive and partners are reasonably respectful of one another, it can actually work for some couples.
. FINANCES
. COMPANIONSHIPS
In a situation where physical Abuse is regular and "Normal" the best option is divorce .. This is not about saving your marriage it is about saving yourself.
Detachment...
One of the most painful things about an unhappy marriage is holding onto the expectation that things will change.
Detachment means to emotionally withdraw from your partner. Think of it as moving into the roommate zone.
When you practice detachment, you let go of that expectation, frustration and annoyance. Shower your love and affection on your children let them be the joy that removes the pain in your broken heart. You can't feel alone or lonely with your children around you.You engage in all the routine family, household, and financial issues that is if the person is financially capable . There will be a problem if one depends on the spouse to buy even under wears.
No longer allow yourself to get drawn into the emotional turmoil of disagreements and arguements.
• Develop closer friendship with reliable and trusted friends.....
• Take better care of yourself.
• Therapy...Go on your own and learn other ways to manage your relationship.
The main reason for staying in an unhappy relationship is the involvement with the partner or the fear of being alone when the marriage breaks. It could also be because you have a financial dependency on your partner and parting ways makes your future look more uncertain and daunting. With psychotherapy, it is possible to address the fears and build a stable life and create a happy future.
Try these coping methods:
1. Change the Environment to Make It More Inviting
Bring about changes that make it possible to work on the relationship and make it more inviting for the two of you. Change the way you think, act, speak and dress, so your partner notices that you are putting in an effort. Start by working on the way you think about your partner and the situation so you would not trigger the same patterns of anger and retaliation. Remember that you have more control over how you feel than your partner does.
2. Blame Less and Inspire More
Blaming your partner for all the troubles in the marriage will only bring things back to square one. Instead, stop blaming and take responsibility even if it seems unfair at first. Work on yourself, your actions, and how you look to inspire your partner to do the same. Ask them for help somewhere, so they know that you still need them and they are valued. Keep inspiring them to invest in the marriage at every opportunity by showing them genuine appreciation.
3. Share More Experiences and Show Passion
Bonds are built-in moments where you share amazing experiences. Have a date night once a week or two, take a long vacation once a year, or have romantic weekend getaways. Show your love and passion in the things you do for your partner.
Does Being in a Loveless Marriage Lead to Divorce? YES.
After everything has been tried for a long time, and neither of you can still feel happy regardless of the change in the other, then divorce is one of the options. Talking to a therapist individually to share things that cannot be shared with others will give you the needed clarity to proceed or not proceed with the divorce.
Things to Do to Add Love Back Into Your Loveless Marriage
If your romance is still hanging by a thread, it is possible to bring it back before it is permanently gone. Here are some ideas that might work
1. Forgive
All the things that have happened so far make you want to leave, but it’s time to let go of the past and forgive to make way for what can be. Just like how you can’t fall in love overnight, you will need time to completely let go and rekindle your feelings with your partner again.
2. Change the Way You Communicate
Old communication patterns will inevitably trigger old emotions, and the cycle would soon start. To overcome this, do not think about attacking your spouse because of something that annoys you; instead, change your words and communication style to elicit a different response from them. Show more love and playfulness in the new way in which you communicate to rebuild intimacy.
3. Respect Boundaries
To bring back the lost love, it’s important to feel respected. Avoid doing things that make them feel uncomfortable or angry. Respect their boundaries beyond which they wouldn’t like being pushed. Once respect is established, love flows by itself.
4. Spend More Time Together
Find ways to spend more time together, creating positive experiences as it is the strongest way to bond. Revisit your old restaurants and places you would hang out at the beginning of the relationship. Take time away from work and friends specifically to be with your partner.
5. Improve Your Sex Life
In all loveless marriages, the sex life would have gone dead. Bring it back by making things exciting in the bedroom. Invest time into looking good and being in better shape or dressing up to look more appealing. Rekindling the romance in the bed is a strong way to bring love back into your marriage.
6. Prioritize Yourself
It is important to work on yourself in the process of bringing back the love. Over the years, one or both of you has likely become someone you weren’t when you first met. Therefore work on looking good and getting back the attractive factor that drew them to you in the first place.
An unhappy marriage is not just a rough patch but a serious spot that can go downhill without the partners working on it. If partners can make it work after much trying, it is worth saving the marriage. However, if there is no way to fix things, it is alright to end your marriage and take a step towards achieving happiness eslewhere or on your own.
